I haven't posted a blog in a really really long time. There are many reasons for this...1. I am going through a divorce and didn't want to burden you will the boring details. 2. I have so much crap running around in my head, I couldn't put what I was feeling into words. (not sure if I can yet).
The boys are great. Okay, that's not entirely true. They have been fighting like wild animals lately. They are currently grounded for a week--school and sports (that's it). So far, its been okay. They said some things to me this weekend that really hurt, so I am sticking to my guns with this punishment.
Jacob: He is now taller than his mother. I am 5'4" and he is 5'5". That scares me--why is my premie growing up so fast? Makes me crazy. He is on the middle school baseball team--first base. He is really loving it. Jake just finished middle school basketball and he hated it--I think because the coach wasn't all that great.
Gabriel: He is getting bigger every day. I look at him and it makes me want to cry. My last baby is growing up way too fast. I was upset last night and he wiped away my tears and was patting my back. I hope he never loses his sweet personality. Of course, he can be mean, but when I really need it, he is there with a hug and kiss.
I am so confused about my life. I guess that's because I'm trying to figure out who I am without Reggie. He doesn't make it easy to leave him, but I'm trying. Its hard to cut yourself off from someone you have been married to for 13 years.
School is okay. I still want to teach a younger age group. Ninth grade is not making me happy any more. I'm calling another school district today (I interviewed a while back). I have been driving about 25 minutes from the apartment to the kids' school, then another 20-25 minutes to my work. It makes me really tired and almost always late. At least I don't have students first period. The driving really sucks, but I want the boys to be able to stay at their school.
Okay, so there is more that I want to say, but I still can't get it out...so, I'll stop now.
So, wish me luck and pray for us that things work out.
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